salt + pepper cats

two cats with black and white spots have decided the front yard, beneath our umbrella tree is their new fav lounge. when dN tried to chase them away, they sent him eyes of daggers and almost risked death by on-coming traffic to continue their hate-on. maybe they are re-incarnations of former inhabitants. a pair of sweethearts from the 20s.

dreams: more riddles to unfold

i dreamed about wearing mismatched shoes on the wrong feet. one shoe was a cream coloured old fashioned one with a heel. i think the other was a black ballet flat but i don't recall. once again my dream guide falls short in the interpretation dept. theories welcome.

dream analysis needed

had this dream last night about a blue polka dot dress, two other girls had the same dress only with red polka dots. were we bridesmaids? the dream book comes up empty on that one, what do you think it means?

my dreams have been colourful lately. dreamed about a poetry slam down a few nights ago, apparently if you recite poetry in a dream it fortells a slew of admirers. had another about taking a bath in a swiss thermal bathtub. if the temperature was just right, it was a sign you will accomplish your goal. here's to that!

a dentist by any other name...

went to a new dentist today. a laid-back character by the name of Humphrey. not after Bogart sadly. a quirky detail with blog written all over it. all he needs is a trench coat. we'll always have liberty village. play it again sam.

that's so random

who knew this site existed? the web is quirky yet useful.

prose & cons

good find: hello Lucky!

dN gave me a card from this company this morning. melted my heart of course. cool sf company.

opera calling

the opera singer next door decided to practice during a conference call yesterday. mildly comical. mildly argh. yesterday was one i'd like to forget, today my head aches as payback. the sound of rain falling out the window is solace, wishing for calm and quiet. so hard to listen and follow the listen to your body advice this week, i feel these regrets and fear at not getting well fast enough. faith, pray life gives me a second chance. give yourself one.

peonies in the window

our peony bush has begun to bloom. dN brought me a bouquet today so they are delivering heavenly scents as i work this afternooon. now all i need to do is follow my own advice, caved into tears two steps before reaching my goal this morning even though the steps leading up to it were quite good. oh the drama! there is always next time.

be your own best friend

that is today's lesson. i have been trying to skip ahead and keep forgetting that you need to stand before you can walk, that you are not slacking if you visualize moving your toe instead of doing physio. accepting the stage you are at, trying to be happy NOW. most of my falls lately have happened because i move from an unstable position, hoping that if i rush to the next move everything will fall into place. i need to love myself no matter what body part is malfunctioning at any given moment. the challenge this week is to listen to my body, rest when needed, stand when you've got the energy, sometimes stopping the panic, frenzy, fear monster is the best thing you can do with the moment. the answers are within.

absurdity witnessed: Russian lover's quarrel in the park

yesterday we grabbed a late lunch from our favourite Japanese grocery store. there was a sun shower so our plan for a Pocky picnic outside was foiled. we parked the car beside a park and thought we'd have a car picnic instead. a calm green spot to enjoy from within. or so we thought. the minute we unwrapped and dived into our feast this character appeared. he was shouting in Russian into his cellphone, pacing and gesturing. a heated argument between Russian lovers? perhaps, we would need an interpreter. abruptly, the call ended and he returned to a group of friends further in the park. then she must have wanted the last word because the whole scene unfolded a second time. it was a bit surreal, like a bit of theatre. a play.

lend me your ear

my right ear has been aching, probably sinus congestion. the tail end of this terrible cold/flu we have been fighting off since mother's day. it is not plugged like the other time. revenge of the seemingly sweet but honestly, lately stresser, stalker mom. the lesson for me has been standing up for myself emotionally, a metaphor. monday i had a spectacular fall. timber! not good, banged my head on the floor. just have to keep trying and focus, think thru each move and don't panic. hard as it is, picking yourself up and trying to move forward is a good thing.

jazz in the afternoon

one of my favourite rituals at the moment is soaking up the afternoon sun with dN in the backyard. i usually do physio, rest. or make some cards. he tends to taming the overgrown garden or tinkers with his bike. the next door neighbour might be a jazz singer, it is sublime hearing soulful bits floating out the window. always feels like a gift. we also play the imaginative what if games. like what if you were a fabulous chef but had to eat kraft dinner for every meal to keep your talent. the minute you didn't, you would lose it all. would you do it? today's line of inquiry centered around discovering a dead version of yourself from the future. what would you do? what if there was a newspaper with future winning lottery numbers, would you play them?

you are what you think

i am going on a trash mag diet. enough octo mom and jon and kate non-sense. junk food for the mind. going to focus on healthier fare. soul satisfying. less tv, mind less distractions. more affirmations and taking out the trash. the peaceful warrior inspired me.

peaceful warrior

words of wisdom. watch it.

black bird

take these broken wings and learn to fly.

thunder + power

the heavens are rumbling. loud claps of thunder, reports of hail, heavy rain symbolic perhaps. last night after midnight the power went out. i had insomnia so the light was missed and the opportunity to distract myself to sleep with a movie was not possible. i can relate to this weather, personally. it will lead to greener days, just got to weather the storm.

don't panic

it is like the rock climber says FEAR SUCKS. i have noticed i have been panicking lately, and when i do, i lose focus and then fail. then i get the weepies. for shame. not proud of this but admission may help me conquer it. focus. calm. you can do it. nurture the fighter in you.

good find: the sweater song

coaching takes many forms, a good friend sent this to lift my spirits, muchly appreciated.

bag o wishes + the box arrives

deluxe-ness. silly me. had a bag of mrs. vickie's today and there were a record number of wish chips. for those of you who don't know - a wish chip is folded in half. legend has it, when you find one of these rare oddities, it is like a chip genie appears and grants your wish. as kids, it was cause for celebration. who knew potatoe chips could be so much fun? junk food meets fortune telling.

the next cause for celebration, was the box. on my door step, at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, audrey dropped off a box with my initials on it. inside, the stuff to create 12 artists trading cards by may 7. the challenge is set. time to create. the theme is circles. when i was a kid, from the moment i could doodle, i used to draw page upon page of circles. fitting. join the circle. wishes and circles, the stars are aligning. i have seen some improvement, on the health front small milestones but still, good news. keep cheering on the coach. a true cause for celebration, a reminder not to get discouraged and to keep focused, fight the good fight, hold the tears and grit the teeth with determination. yes.we.can.