the last long weekend

...couldn't have come soon enough i tell you. so ready for three full days of calm, last rays of summer days with dn. savour the deluxeness.

3 expressions

here are three coined phrases i've come up with of late. thought you might like the friday chuckle.

a) "Put it on Pause.""
a new take on the old favourite, "give it a rest already!"

b) "Re-guilting"
like re-gifting only guilty-er. when some one tries to guilt someone else to do something, thru you.

c) "Speaker-phone voice"
someone who speaks as though they are on speaker phone in every day life. loudly. amplify. annoying.

moonstruck

confession: i have been obsessed of late with the flick moonstruck. a classic. so many great lines, so well crafted! i never seem to tire of it. i have been reciting lines from it left, right and centre. too many good ones to pick a favourite. this dean martin theme song has been running thru my head non stop for days. fittingly there was a full moon on my birthday this year. the universe must have known i was moonstruck!

outside the lines

life doesn't always colour inside the lines.

magic 8

08.08.08 ...ah the stars aligning to release the magic 8s into the universe. on the trippy voodoo front, i had another appointment with god yesterday. this time she was a white woman wearing a turban. we met in a yoga space and she listed off a bunch of karmic choices and I said.

"I'll take e -- all of the above for $500."

she had kind eyes and told me she believed that we are judged by our conscience at our death. she tapped into the universe and asked me to breathe. it wouldn't be a visit with god without a few tears which came flowing out of me when she told me to love myself. strangely i slept better after seeing her. i still had my early morning racing thoughts but this time they were kind of housed in a calm blanket. for once, the arguments in my head kind of logically aligned right when I needed to calmly deliver them today. thank heavens for that! fingers crossed this spell lasts.

the guilt stops here.

i have had more family interaction of late and have noticed some old habits and patterns with new eyes. i need to ask for what i want and not be ruled by guilt or molding myself to fit others expectations. i need to stop the numbness when my family tries to meddle. and trust me, they are in full force where meddling is concerned these days. i just find myself not reacting at the time and then waking in the wee hours arguing with them in my head. not very effective. perhaps the first step is noticing these things. i think it is time for me to rise to the occasion. to summon my hearty backbone and stop the guilt once and for all. i think it is part of a broader healing process but that's another story.