happiness

went for tea and chatter to a friend's place last night and we spoke about happiness, love and hate, how men and women lie and why. there is almost a cult of positive thinking alive in our world today but sometimes it is not a sentiment coming from a peaceful, healthy place. like my friend's former boss, who famously said "i don't allow any negative energy here." was an oozing swamp of contradiction because he infected so many good people with his unrealized negativity and harmful behaviours. a study in contradiction. we also talked about the epidemic of positivity where people are medicated as depressed when they are truly just going thru a blue phase, a normal part of life. they are urged to numb themselves instead of living and working their way thru it. i think it is healthy to have a balance, a spectrum... that tough times and challenge can lead to character strength, change and opportunity. people that have just sailed thru life, if there are any, have missed out on a chance for deeper experience. sure, there are times when a good self pity cry or bad attitudes spill out. sometimes the bad stuff in life, is just that. the trick is seeing it for what it is (self pity, bad attitude, bad luck etc) and moving forward. seeing the metaphor or lessons in it and feeling grateful for the perspective. i think the issue with the cult of positivity is that it can be forced...like the person who edits you in real time, saying you shouldn't say that, you should say this instead. like people are some form of robot, needing reprogramming at all times to truly be happy. there may be some truth in the reprogramming but they certainly don't need it shoved down their throat. compassion. seeing things from all sides. i had to laugh at myself this week. during my restorative yoga class. we were interrupted by a smattering of construction noise from above. for the whole hour. i thought to myself, i could be annoyed, it's after 7pm. but hey, the world doesn't stop for yoga. i decided to think of the hammering noises as friendly reminders to concentrate, be in the room, relax. my mind was so easily distracted that the frequent reminders ended up being a service! and i just smiled at myself and the situation. grateful.

a wise woman told me this story. there once was a king and a servant. whatever happened -- good or bad, the servant would say "thank you god, couldn't be better." one day the king was working in the field and accidentally chopped off his thumb. the servant said "thank you god, couldn't be better." the king was outraged..."what do you mean it couldn't be better?! it could be better, i could have my thumb! I have had enough of you, you are banished, leave immediately." so the servant left and the king continued on his journey. the next village he came upon was full of cannibals. they were heating up a pot to cook the next unsuspecting passerby for lunch. they eyed the king and were delighted. then they saw the bandages and missing thumb and decided not to risk infecting their whole tribe with a tainted lunch. the king escaped with his life and ran back home. he went to see the servant as he was packing up his belongings and family and forgave him, thanking him. the servant said "thank you god, couldn't be better." the king was puzzled. he said, "how can you still say that when i banished you and you would have had no way to feed your family." he said, "it's easy, if you hadn't done that i would have been lunch!" i am sure this is one of those stories that has been retold time after time and changed along the way. it's a good one to keep in your pocket though. secret sauce to be sure.