soul survivor

went to my first laughing meditation class tonight, it was the inaugural class with only 5 in attendance. we started with a cup of mint tea. there is no talking and a chime of this bowl from tibet signals change to the next exercise. there was this great gibberish exercise which was so fantastic. a cacaphony of chitta chatta non-sense, we were re-setting our brains, making room in the attic, messing with the pull of the brain into constant internal conversation and commentary. i imagined these wacked out faces in a cafe, speaking in a language i didn't understand, parts of their faces blurred, even a penguin appeared. we laughed a medition, hummed and there was an exercise where you were encouraged to be the kid let run wild in gym class; a wild animal of laughter with no rules, no eye contact. it was crazy but fun. it felt more soulful then our regular saturday class. there was one moment in the class, in the darkness and the stillness of silence that i felt -- this is the first time i've been truly alone. like i was floating in a black hole. it was like all emotions were on pause. i didn't feel scared or worried. i felt calm but outside my body and personality. it is like exercise for your soul. we ended with a quick cup of mint tea and headed back outside into the cold, dark night. the subway attendant let me thru with 5 cents shy of my fare, he was listening to "sitting on the dock of the bay" which seemed quite perfect. i also overheard 'eleanor rigby' enroute home and sang out loud with it. the soundtrack of my soul, perhaps?