good find: ruby & apple

a friend of mine launched the online side of her business today. check out ruby & apple for the handbag of your dreams.

fire the inner critic, be the coach

i am in the fight of my life. i have not shared the details of the health challenges because i wanted the blog to be an escape, a place where i focused on the creative, sweet stuff in life. i still want that. but part of me feels like i am living a lie. i have MS and have to learn to walk again. some of you know part of the story. i have been on a downward spiral for awhile now and i am trying to lift myself out with the help of treatment and physio. the hardest part has been the knocks to my spirit. i am probably not going to blog about the daily trials but don't lurk in the shadows. help cheer the coach on. tell me you love me no matter what shape i am in and that you believe i can recover fully.

smoke & opera

thin walls in a semi have brought new quirks to my attention. the neighbour on the third floor is an opera singer. deep booming voice. an open attic door has also leaked over stale cigarette smoke but maybe i imagined it or the source -- seems unlikely a singer would smoke. burnt toast and coco have also wafted our way.

the meaning of life

in 140 characters or less, that is your mission should you choose to accept. here are a few i came up with...

savour the moments.

dive in. live and love with a full heart.

do more, not less.

had another dream about flowers

bring it on. i also dreamed about an apartment in japan, fixed gear bike business, and octo-mom but that is just a sign i have been reading too many US weeklies. here's hoping dreams about flowers bring the happiness they promise.

simple pleasure: strawberry ice cream

with real strawberries. mmmmmmmmmmmm...simple bliss. deluxe.

2 valentines lost & found again

with all the to and from of late, two valentines arrived into my hands - a month late but still happily. friends sending valentines reminds me of our grade school days and cinnamon hearts and jello jiggler ruby hearts. there is no expiry on love. happy un-valentines day! xo

good find: the wayne cook

spring.forward

losing an hour never felt so good. we moved into the 3rd floor of the work.in. progress house last night. at last.

dreams revealed: fire + waiting

i dreamed about going someplace like future shop, it was launch day of three new console packages (xbox). i chose one, waited with some friends from high school changed my mind and went back to get the original cheaper offer...only one left and I got it! each one came with these crazy suitcases. i wandered back to find my friends in line. the whole store was the line up of customers.

the closest symbol i found in my dream book was:

sale: You will recieve an inheritance if you dream of shopping at a sale.

i also had a flash of something, like a piece of paper bursting into flames. i dampened it right away.

fire: an auspicious sign if it doesn't burn you. if you extinguish it, you will succeed in your endeavors.

martini time

today would have been my grandma's birthday. miss u! xo

ear to the ground

ear wax. my right ear is plugged with it. maybe it is a metaphor. only half listening to what you are saying. i have been trying all sorts of natural remedies and now i am onto drops my naturopath recommended. argh! i wish the ear thing was the only issue at the moment but alas, not so. it is not my style to get into these kind of deets but i could use ample well wishes, good vibes and the like.

if u lead, i will follow

btw: you can now officially follow this blog. gadget added to the right hand column, at the bottom. so far it is a lonely hearts club but it is new and easy to miss. i'll give it a month and if it is still empty i will delete. i know the small circle of followers unofficially anyhow.

lost and found again

i updated my template and decided to add some labels. had a typo on the beloved artifact found post labels, pressed delete -- meaning delete the label not the posts and gone! frantically searched the forums for an answer and thank god for cached pages on search engines! i was able recreate most of them but a few are gone forever. i couldn't redo your comments, so u will just have to remember your witty banter.i enjoyed it to be sure. so sad. so sorry! the good news is that i have 13 up and i think i originally had 15 labelled. i can't believe there wasn't a confirm prompt, just gone. i have the best ones reborn though, so fear not. i have a lot of material over the last 3-4 years so i'll take my time labeling the best for any newbies or pals who care to look.

men are from mar.s

a birthday week e-present to two canucks abroad. for context see comment. dreaming of showing up to a meeting in your boxers? here's what the dream book had to say:

embarrassment
a favourable sign. to be embarrassed in a dream means you will be successful in life.

unless of course you weren't embarrassed...

undress
to dream of undressing in a dream, means scandalous gossip will colour people's opinions of you.

they will after reading this post!

or if you were just being polite and really you were naked....

if you find yourself naked in a dream and try to cover up, you have acted inappropriately on desires and wish to repent.

i'm guessing option A since -- hey, we are canadian and embarrass easy. that is no blushing matter. it is all in fun. happy birthdays!

inspire: half the job is just showing up

when i first started this blog, that sentiment is what pushed me over the edge into this world. thanks to audrey for sending me this and here's to nursing that inner spirit or blaming it when you need to. here's to just showing up.

a twist of fate

what a strange moment this year. friday the 13th bumping into valentine's day. one day is full of spook and doom seems to be lurking at every corner, the next is a day of love. this year will be low key for us, i am just happy to spend three whole days alone together. movies and pizza is on our list. maybe a touch of chocolate. i know there has been a pause in posts of late, i can't lie -- it has been tough and it was just hard to have perspective. i couldn't muster up the spirit to write if it wasn't going to make the blogosphere a better place. our house is coming along and that vision, that creative force and space and the true love of my one and only has kept me from throwing in the towel. that, and this song. it is our soundtrack on the march forward into the promise of better days. happy valentine's day and freaky friday.

sweet dreams are made of this

had a dream that i was acting in a play, for some reason the rehearsal was the live performance so we were allowed to read from these small brown cue cards. ben affleck played a math teacher and jen garner was giving us pointers. we were encouraged to improvise and the play was held in this crazy Royal Tennebaums-esque house. i was nervous but thrilled at the same time. this is a strange notion for me, when we put on plays in highschool i was into set design and making props.

here's what my dream book had to say:

Acting
To dream of acting on a stage is a sign of change to come. It can also mean you need to be more aggressive to achieve your goals.

this is very true. strange, but bang on. the dream book doesn't lie it seems.

yes.we.can

because there are days that i need to remember, to be inspired, to keep fighting the good fight, to not give up. today hasn't been the hardest day but i am no stranger to obstacles and no friend of fear. there's never been anything false about hope. save your cynic for another blog. yes.we.can.

at last

this is like a fairytale to me, makes me feel like everything in the world will work out , not to worry. been completely obsessed today watching it too many times to report without a blush. at last.

flowers

you are in store for tremendous happiness if you dream of flowers.

let's certainly hope so. happy obama day!

chill cat

it is far below zero outside and it feels like everyone is hibernating or sick. sleeping. i am trying to keep my head above it all - to see the bigger picture. be brave folks, spring is just around the corner.

eek!

they found a mouse in the basement last night! he probably just needed to come in from the cold. eek!

whatta week

so. started the week, full of gusto. must have jinxed myself with the fresh start business. what happened? i pushed myself too hard and paid for it. dearly. i didn't have out loud resolutions per say but just a desire to do more. it is about balance. here's hoping next week is better.

every day

fresh start

happy new year! i am reading the Artist's Way to develop my creative and spiritual self in 2009. here's to inventing our own roadmaps and diving deep to overcome the obstacles on our path. yes.we.can

to all my fans, have good cheer

the shoe detective

we have a history of strange shoe escapades. remember the mile in your shoes and a mile in your boots? the caper continued on saturday. i went to acupuncture and left my snowy boots by the door beneath a bench. i usually take them into the room with me but decided to leave them this time because of the snow. afterwards, i decided to put my boots on sitting in one of the chairs instead of the bench and asked dN to pass me my boots. anyhow, didn't give it another thought. slipped on the black blundstones and off we went. then we get a call that we actually wore someone else's boots home and she wanted to meet up to do the swap. only a half size difference. what are the chances? the woman was nice, said she wouldn't have noticed either but she was wearing heavy socks and the boots were much tighter on the way out then the way in. this must have stirred the shoe fairies into trickery. next my brother in law misplaced his boots. then my fil realized that he was missing a pair too. the shoe detective found both pairs after a lengthy search in the garage, stored away. it is symbolic perhaps. we all need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes and not take the shoes on our feet for granted.

figs are the new prunes

i was having um...digestive issues and had tried all sorts of the usual natural remedies. my mil suggested figs today. they are magic i tell you! and actually so tasty that i wonder why i didn't fall for figs years ago. apologies if this is too much info but the headline popped into my head this afternoon and made me laugh right away. in the same family as yam.i.am

ho ho hold the drama

to be honest, i always feel a sense of dread as christmas approaches. i long for time happily alone with my sweetheart - reading books, sleeping in, watching movies with no expectations and some good food thrown in. this year, there won't be much alone time and more family time. hopefully less family drama or none at all (pretty please.) i think i need to change my holiday outlook. i need to let family comments, agendas and expectation go. a new year's resolution before the new year even arrives. does anyone have a recipe for this? on the resolution note i woke up the start of this week with fresh eyes on bad habits that i have developed recently and want to change. i have already made a few small changes and feel so much better. it feels empowering. this time next week and the holiday is upon us. i will do my best to stay calm. grateful for the goodness around. to just enjoy the people and small doses of the decadent food. sounds easy enough but living it is another story. my christmas wish is for peace, perspective and good health. ho ho hold the drama, thanks to the leon's commercial for the inspiration. (ho ho hold the payments!)

100 yard dash

cool.

skating

this song is my soundtrack when life is going along smoothly and everythng falls into place. those days are deluxe. i wish today was one of those days but it wasn't. sort of like a ground hog day, caught in a loop. nothing bad happened it just took longer then i hoped to get things done. maybe today is just supposed to crawl instead of run. on a side note, i noticed that i have a craving lately to wear colour. most of my wardrobe is black or neutral but lately i reach for the colours. the colours cheer me up. is it a city thing or maybe a shift in mood? i am selective about the coloiurs i like and pair it with black often but still. is anyone else having this craving?

envy, giving thanks, & perfection

i have noticed a few themes waltzing thru my life lately and had to add to the blog. the first is envy. wishing you had what someone else has...not so much their material stuff but maybe it is their seemingly perfect happiness, success or self confidence. it is not what it seems. we are all going thru something and it seems like a mountain to us, even if it is a mole hill to everyone else. the next is gratitude. on this day of american thanksgiving i just want to thank the universe for all the goodness in my life. it hasn't been an easy year by any measure but many silver linings have aligned in my favour and i just thank the lucky stars for that. third is perfection. i see people striving for it all the time, in big ways and small. maybe it is the human condition. to try and control the uncontrollable with a measure of exactness that can be no accident. i think we can all look around and see darkness and storm clouds if we like. the greater challenge is to choose to dwell on the good, the opportunity in the face of that steep climb ahead. not to be swayed by the occasional stumble. sometimes we arrive in style, other times we just barely arrive. it is just enough to keep trying, to keep fighting the good fight in whatever shape it takes in our lives today. grace.

clear minds.full hearts.can't lose

been addicted to friday night lights lately. just finished season two. the characters are well drawn. who knew football could be this good? watch it.

change

CHANGE. he rocks. inspire.

yam i am

yams. who knew they were a natural source of estrogen and helpful to us ladies. reduces the pms symptoms yadda yadda. cracks me up for some strange reason. yam i am.

ctrl.alt.delete

this is a wish that control freaks would alternate and delete that behaviour from our lives. not worth the stress and angst. life is out of control and not perfect, and far too short for petty. it can be beautifully messy. patience. understanding. why is it that the people that inflict these tendencies, in the next breath tell us not to worry, they didn't mean it, it was nothing. words can hurt. they are not nothing. think twice before you speak. please.

hope instead of fear

where we have breath, we have hope. it is so uplifting to side with light instead of darkness. we.will.get.there. i could listen to that speech for days and not tire of it. i was also really proud of the way his campaign brought together people using the web and mobile, proof that all those that said the internet was a fad, a flavour of the week, and dead -- were wrong. we keep seeing it grow and change and evolve for the people, by the people. the new way to get things done. the power of words to inspire us to be better people. fitting. yes we can.

beli(e)ve

belief. on a week where make-believe, costumes and jack-o-lanterns are in style i just thought i would take a moment on the beauty and sheer force required behind a seemingly innocent word: belief. sometimes it is so hard to believe and keep going. believe in what is good, believe that everything really will work out and that the people we love and the people we are really do deserve their inner most dreams, hopes, and wishes. believing in happiness and secret sauce and all things deluxe. believing in the face of nay sayers and at times logic or common sense. i find that not only do i have to believe but so do the people i love and the friends around me. like the circle of believing just helps make it so. be-lieve. almost be. live. this song speaks to me, the music and the feeling behind it rather than the lyrics per say. belief. believe. join the circle.

full moon

the cold wind howls, the trees shush all around. the last of the golden leaves float to the grey below. last week there was snow in the air, it looked like confetti at an italian wedding. a celebration. the november stage is set. sometimes the sky looks so full of expression. like it is drama, waiting to happen. a character actor with an unforgettable smirk. a movie that is both full of meaning and yet full of wonder. a completely different personality to summer or spring. the temptation is to hibernate or wish it away but yet there is so much beauty. the calendar promises a full moon tonight, hopefully it brings unusual dreams and characters with it. sweet dreams.

fortunes: dreams revealed

so sally's gift continues to delight. awakened in the wee hours and then quickly looked up the symbols in my dreams. i was in a vintage bookstore that was having a closing out sale, the movie section of course. but lots of fascinating classic finds. there were clothes there too, my friend k and i were hunting for a tshirt or a badge with sudbury on it. then i was searching the prints section, hunting for art deco calendar prints of san francisco to surprize dn with.

books
to dream of books is a sign of an increasingly happy, contented life.

clothes
someone fancies you if you are a woman and you dream of buying clothes.

art
if you look at art or discuss it, it portends advancement in your career.

all this on the eve when i picked up my secrets of happiness book before bed to start reading it.

attack of the killer flem

a new movie, starring me! ok, not quite killer but the idea of one of those vintage movie posters kept crossing my mind. if there is a world where tomatoes can be killer why not flem? obvious there are more important things to dwell on. just a fun way to laugh at myself i guess. happy sunday!

sheesh!

yesterday: hit with a miserable cold. felt awful. the word cold doesn't do it justice. it seemed to hit me like a tornado. today, changed my password, locked my computer for lunch, misspelled the new password...one character off i instead of e. then paid for it, with almost 6 hours of tech support. sheesh! i hope an upswing is in sight.

grace

happy thanksgiving to all the canucks round the table. today was the perfect indian summer day, crisp, bright and sunny. the leaves, tiny bits of golden yellow. hints of red and orange, dancing in the wind. lots to be grateful for. making the future we want, happen. keep an eye on the prize and a fire in the heart. take nothing for granted. love. peace. happiness.

in the dark

have you noticed that baby boomers have issues with lights? both my father and my inlaws seem to be light obsessed, deprived. preferring the darkness. a friend of ours says her parents carry flashlights with them in the house so they won't have to turn hallway lights on. part of it seems a green effort, lower electricity bills and the like. for me. someone who has fallen down a dark set of stairs and then it took crutches and months, maybe even years to get over the twisted ankle, pulled muscles and resulting lack of exercise..it seems insane. that whole tumble could have been avoided with a night light so i could see the last step properly. i just want to see and not fall, is that so wrong? the irony is that for my father, the lights obsession is selective. when it is show and tell time...the tour of neighbours thru the house for a brag fest of the latest project...no expense spared. lights, camera, action. every possible light is on.

the end of a chapter, the start of a new one

regrets for the pause in posts. there is a lot happening outside the lines of the blog at the moment. i did want to pay tribute though to one small corner. we moved out of our crash pad this week. good bye crazy chinese sneezing lady from next door and all her antics. the water, the salt, the moth balls, the loud music, the drama...chapter closed. i am at my inlaws for the next while, while dN camps out at our work.in.progress house. don't ask me when we are moving in, it happens when it happens. i will be happy to write that post someday. deluxe-ness. i have had plenty of things i mentally blogged about but have not had a chance to get fingers to keys. stay tuned...

fortunes

my friend Sally got me a fortune telling book of dreams for my birthday. she knows me well!

anyhow, i had a dream about ants and the book said that it would be a steady march of annoying distractions during the day. and it was!

even better i had a dream about the perfect farmer's market with a deluxe bright pink fruit i had never seen before that was so sweet and delish. turns out...

To dream of ripe fruit fortells good health.

A copious outdoor market augurs great prosperity.

I'll take it! have a good weekend folks.

crankola

pretty soon you will have a full lexicon of work.in.progress phrases.

crankola: the state of supreme crankiness.

had one of those days today. even a teen burger couldn't make it right. tomorrow is another day.

note to self: horoscope

one to remember...

LEO
I'm not so interested in predicting the future as I am creating the future. Why waste even a minute worrying about how things will turn out when you can devote your energy to making things turn out the way you want? It's true in the horoscopes I offer you, I speculate about what may be coming. But my purpose in doing so is to describe favourable scenarios that you can use your willpower to manifest. Right now for instance, I won't prophesy, "You will soon be blessed with a valuable new resource." Rather, I'll say, "Get out there Leo and acquire a tool or fuel or asset that will help you become more practical about fulfilling one of your dreams."

good shop: redENVELOPE.com

my sister moved to LA LA land and her birthday is next week so I thought i would send a gift. had so much fun browsing redENVELOPE.com last night. worth a peek. i found the perfect wedding gift for two cousins too. even though the design is sublime and minimalist, i still had to call support twice to get the gift processed. overall though, highly recommended.

the last long weekend

...couldn't have come soon enough i tell you. so ready for three full days of calm, last rays of summer days with dn. savour the deluxeness.

3 expressions

here are three coined phrases i've come up with of late. thought you might like the friday chuckle.

a) "Put it on Pause.""
a new take on the old favourite, "give it a rest already!"

b) "Re-guilting"
like re-gifting only guilty-er. when some one tries to guilt someone else to do something, thru you.

c) "Speaker-phone voice"
someone who speaks as though they are on speaker phone in every day life. loudly. amplify. annoying.

moonstruck

confession: i have been obsessed of late with the flick moonstruck. a classic. so many great lines, so well crafted! i never seem to tire of it. i have been reciting lines from it left, right and centre. too many good ones to pick a favourite. this dean martin theme song has been running thru my head non stop for days. fittingly there was a full moon on my birthday this year. the universe must have known i was moonstruck!

outside the lines

life doesn't always colour inside the lines.

magic 8

08.08.08 ...ah the stars aligning to release the magic 8s into the universe. on the trippy voodoo front, i had another appointment with god yesterday. this time she was a white woman wearing a turban. we met in a yoga space and she listed off a bunch of karmic choices and I said.

"I'll take e -- all of the above for $500."

she had kind eyes and told me she believed that we are judged by our conscience at our death. she tapped into the universe and asked me to breathe. it wouldn't be a visit with god without a few tears which came flowing out of me when she told me to love myself. strangely i slept better after seeing her. i still had my early morning racing thoughts but this time they were kind of housed in a calm blanket. for once, the arguments in my head kind of logically aligned right when I needed to calmly deliver them today. thank heavens for that! fingers crossed this spell lasts.

the guilt stops here.

i have had more family interaction of late and have noticed some old habits and patterns with new eyes. i need to ask for what i want and not be ruled by guilt or molding myself to fit others expectations. i need to stop the numbness when my family tries to meddle. and trust me, they are in full force where meddling is concerned these days. i just find myself not reacting at the time and then waking in the wee hours arguing with them in my head. not very effective. perhaps the first step is noticing these things. i think it is time for me to rise to the occasion. to summon my hearty backbone and stop the guilt once and for all. i think it is part of a broader healing process but that's another story.

blue.berry

my inlaws went up to algonquin recently and spent three days chasing blueberries. simple bliss. of course, they shared, so i have eaten my fair share of the deluxe berry of late. reminds me of my youth, daydreaming in a patch and nibbling on berries as we gazed up at the clouds.

wink

didn't sleep a wink last night or much the night before either. send me some calm angels of sleep pretty please and thank you. it makes a world of difference when you have sleep on your side.

count

strange but true

file this one under, strange but true. gives new meaning to cold CUT trio.

at-choo!

the crazy chinese lady next door has served up a fresh dose of bizarre. now that the weather is warmer, maybe i am just noticing it more...open windows and doors bring the indoors out. she SNEEZES frequently. LOUDLY. COMICALLY. i used to think it was just a morning thing but even around 8pm last night i heard her, and again countless times today. what gives? is she allergic to her own magic remedies, potions and schemes? it is one curious case, that is for sure.

redux: laugh track

my pal audrey and i decided to start laughter meditation again, first session - tonight. i love the sound of united hums, a breathing exercise we do to start things off. such a lovely unison of voices and so calming. we were rusty but know it will get easier. it's actually hard work to laugh for very long if you are out of practice. my abs hurt and my face tingled. my soul said thank you.

what you resist, persists

a friend of mine, audrey, dispensed these words of wisdom yesterday. so simple yet so true. applies to so much.

swoop

every so often, a soul swoops in, in the disguise of a stranger....with lightning precision and says exactly what you need to hear. she even warned me she didn't have much time so she was going to be frank and she was good at it. grateful. i would get into specifics but i don't hand the keys to my soul out to just anyone so you'll just have to trust the deluxe-ness of it. perspective. strength of character and courage. definite secret sauce to be sure. inspire.

stars & stripes

celebrating independence in all its' glorious shades today along with all my yankee doodle pals.

guilty pleasures

on this canada day long weekend, i must admit to some guilty pleasure. i have watched a few back to back episodes of crap tv: sunset tan and the hills. pure vapidness. i've also read every morsel of the latest US Weekly. neither of which is very Canadian. i topped off the indulgence-athon by eating chocolate cake with molten insides and a dab of gelato. am i sinking to a new low? maybe this is just the art of doing nothing. i can think of many elegant ways to do nothing, say in an italian villa or gazing at a still lake but let's face it, sometimes you've got to nurse your inner sloth and there is beauty in the sheer ugliness of it.

good find: glass door

a friend in the bay area passed along this one. kind of like spy games. work fun. check it out.

spam vs me

lately it seems spam has been winning the war. i have a yahoo account, have had it for years. refused to switch to the new and improved version for a variety of reasons. of late, it seems the spam folder is flooded. outnumbers my real mail by far. for example, today - two new mails for me (lists i subscribed to) spam = 20. it is my personal account and somehow this makes it seem even more trashy that it is now losing the spam war. is it just me or is everyone seeing more spam these days?

redux

it is like my mind wanted to visit old chapters. fitting because i am re reading eat. pray.love at the moment. so in that spirit, here's a few preloved blogs from work.in.progress days past. packet o spunk. | two slices in the same loaf | secret sauce this trio seems to sum up my state of mind at the moment.

freaky friday

lucky friday the 13th roars into existence. the strangest thing happened today. i picked up the phone to call my sister and at that very moment the phone died. the power went out. moments later car alarms went off outside and all the power blinked back on. then, dN just called me to tell me the water guy came to check the meter in our work.in.progress house, in the basement and nearly died because his foot broke thru one of the stairs en route. chills, chills! this was the same basement where we found a frozen black cat, so don't doubt the jinx factor. hope everyone survives the remainder of the day!

inspire

stronger.better.faster.stronger.

dream a little dream

dreamed we were back in San Francisco last night. remembered our tiny little apartment, flying surf board above the futon like a shark, ivy and dotted white lights on the postage stamp patio, the whole deal. we had the tiniest sink ever and i used to cook up a mean pasta dish. around the corner from us sat the city's smallest park, jack early. a stairway leading to a look out point with only one bench but a panoramic view of the bay and both bridges. we had many a picnic up there. somehow my memory of that apartment merged with memories of my grandma's beloved flat. she loved her place and had a talent for making a small space completely charming and comfortable.

rock scissors paper

had a dream last night about the forts i used to make in the woods with my pal k. we always would clear a space between a circle of trees, line with stones, and make a fire pit with a fake rotisserie. every fort had a welcome mat made from a piece of left over wood from our dads' workshop, painted or artfully done of course. we had secret code names for them. like the robin's nest. and the best ones were out of ear shot of our parents and a secret from our brothers. we liked to pretend we couldn't hear the first calls to come home for dinner or chores and stretch the time out just a little longer. in the winter we even built "snow couches." we lived an imaginary life in these forts. one time we even planted a tree limb, propped it up with rocks and it took hold and ended up growing into a lovely tree. would be good to visit it and see if it's still there. anyhow, feels like a friday made for memories like this. o happy days!

sunny sunday

the weather was all smiles this weekend, wasn't it? sat in a window seat in one of my favourite cafes today and watched the street go by. lots of bikers and people wearing shorts! other highlights of the weekend included a dinner with a pal at the Ethiopian restaurant down the street. we drank red wine and chatted up a storm amid all the incense and burning coffee beans. always feels like i am traveling to another country when i go there, but at the same time has a really laid back and "at home" feeling. if it was a colour, i think it would be Amber. warm, buttery yellow. didn't get to much of the practical stuff i had hoped to get done but oh well, that's what mondays are for, I guess.

good flick: how to cook your life

watched how to cook your life yesterday and felt like it was my version of church. food for the soul. definitely one to watch more then once. all about meditation and zen buddhist philosophy and how it applies to the food we eat and the food we make. definitely slower pacing then a hollywood flick but if you think of it like a tvo documentary, you'll be all set. for me, it brought on a sense of calm. definitely makes you reflect on life and the habits we have as a culture. doesn't hurt that it was filmed in our city, san francisco. even the vegetables are filmed as though they are starlets. art. watch it and let me know what you think.

happy may 2-4

hope you are enjoying the long weekend.

build me up buttercup

had this song in my head for a day and half now, love it in this inexplicable way. i think my love of this tune stems from that scene in Alias where her man proposes to this song. ah, build me up buttercup, don't break my heart.

333

this is my 333rd post, all those lucky threes, all lined up. saturday, a pic of our house graced the home section of a national paper. yesterday, a bird shat on me over lunch at the park -supposedly good luck... fingers crossed, any other vestiges of luck find their way happily to us. arms wide open. luck: you're invited.

heaven in toronto

deluxe moment of eats that needs to be captured. went to dessert trends on harbord today. had a philo pastry with goat cheese and mushrooms, salad and potatoes, a perfect latte, and for dessert - a flourless chocolate "chestnut" with molten lava in the middle. bliss. highly recommended. the cafe/bakery is so zen, all white and modern and lovely. it is my new fav.

brush with schmarminess: monika schnarre

caught a glimpse of her at luna cafe, dovercourt and argyle. she left her black pooch by the door and came in for a coffee as we brunched. she must live in the hood because dN has seen her around a few times. models are soooooooooo thin.

happiness

went for tea and chatter to a friend's place last night and we spoke about happiness, love and hate, how men and women lie and why. there is almost a cult of positive thinking alive in our world today but sometimes it is not a sentiment coming from a peaceful, healthy place. like my friend's former boss, who famously said "i don't allow any negative energy here." was an oozing swamp of contradiction because he infected so many good people with his unrealized negativity and harmful behaviours. a study in contradiction. we also talked about the epidemic of positivity where people are medicated as depressed when they are truly just going thru a blue phase, a normal part of life. they are urged to numb themselves instead of living and working their way thru it. i think it is healthy to have a balance, a spectrum... that tough times and challenge can lead to character strength, change and opportunity. people that have just sailed thru life, if there are any, have missed out on a chance for deeper experience. sure, there are times when a good self pity cry or bad attitudes spill out. sometimes the bad stuff in life, is just that. the trick is seeing it for what it is (self pity, bad attitude, bad luck etc) and moving forward. seeing the metaphor or lessons in it and feeling grateful for the perspective. i think the issue with the cult of positivity is that it can be forced...like the person who edits you in real time, saying you shouldn't say that, you should say this instead. like people are some form of robot, needing reprogramming at all times to truly be happy. there may be some truth in the reprogramming but they certainly don't need it shoved down their throat. compassion. seeing things from all sides. i had to laugh at myself this week. during my restorative yoga class. we were interrupted by a smattering of construction noise from above. for the whole hour. i thought to myself, i could be annoyed, it's after 7pm. but hey, the world doesn't stop for yoga. i decided to think of the hammering noises as friendly reminders to concentrate, be in the room, relax. my mind was so easily distracted that the frequent reminders ended up being a service! and i just smiled at myself and the situation. grateful.

a wise woman told me this story. there once was a king and a servant. whatever happened -- good or bad, the servant would say "thank you god, couldn't be better." one day the king was working in the field and accidentally chopped off his thumb. the servant said "thank you god, couldn't be better." the king was outraged..."what do you mean it couldn't be better?! it could be better, i could have my thumb! I have had enough of you, you are banished, leave immediately." so the servant left and the king continued on his journey. the next village he came upon was full of cannibals. they were heating up a pot to cook the next unsuspecting passerby for lunch. they eyed the king and were delighted. then they saw the bandages and missing thumb and decided not to risk infecting their whole tribe with a tainted lunch. the king escaped with his life and ran back home. he went to see the servant as he was packing up his belongings and family and forgave him, thanking him. the servant said "thank you god, couldn't be better." the king was puzzled. he said, "how can you still say that when i banished you and you would have had no way to feed your family." he said, "it's easy, if you hadn't done that i would have been lunch!" i am sure this is one of those stories that has been retold time after time and changed along the way. it's a good one to keep in your pocket though. secret sauce to be sure.

whatta racket!

oh the drama! a few times a week the neighbours two doors down come outside, stand on the lawn and yell to the crazy chinese lady next door.

MRS...PLEASE TURN DOWN THE MUSIC. IT'S TOO LOUD.

sometimes they bring their crying baby for effect and add baby-related pleas...The baby can't sleep!

two days ago, they kicked it up a notch. during my 1 o'clock con call (thank heavens for mute) the husband came and pounded on the door, heavily for minutes with the same pleas. i thought they might call the police.

it is a never-ending cycle. they live in a semi so they share walls...likely extra loud for the baby family especially.

it's a sad state of neighbourly affairs. i feel for the family but also suspect that my neighbour is playing her music so loud to drown out the competing voices in her head. not an easy situation for either party i suspect. they should give her an ipod with headphones!

sound-print: spring

outside my window at this very moment, the neighbours are playing street hockey! will have to snap a photo at the house this weekend because there are blooms popping up around our bay window! so optimistic. we had a picnic at lunch today, sprawled out on lawn chairs and soaked in the vitamin D. bring it on!

patio season begins!

had my first official patio visit this afternoon. caught the setting sun on the drake patio over a plate of fries and a few sips of beer with some good company. cheers! let the season begin.

i beget

i met this charming 5 year old this weekend, whose favourite expression was "I beget!" ...instead of I forget! her younger brother was 4 and really into polar bears. sweetness!

green day

this weekend we were on a tear with green, saving the world documentaries. first up, sharkwater -- a very passionate film that sheds light on the myths about sharks. you can really tell it was a film made from the heart. they are beautiful creatures and after watching this film, i will never even wonder what shark fin soup tastes like. how cruel! we also watched the 11th hour leonardo dicaprio's inconvenient truth. it was also informed, fiery and alarming. made me think we should start putting reflective devices on every roof top to offset the reflection that is shrinking in the arctic. might help with global cooling. see the official site here. then it was TVO for some discussion on the Dalai Lama, Tibet and China and then a snipet of sarah harmer and her crusade to save the Niagara Escarpment. ok, so i guess the TVO piece wasn't exactly green but it made me ponder. the Dalai Lama is inspiring but also strategic.

any who, the birds are chirping, there is sun trickling in my window and the day is about to begin. happy sunday everyone!

yonge & dump-ass square

ventured to the new cinema at yonge & dundas square and i'm sorry to report but it is a new concoction that reeks of 80s suburbia. it is devoid of any originality, charm or architectural interest, if that was ever the desire. there was free popcorn but it wasn't enough of a saving grace. the square itself is a thinly veiled marketing extravaganza. it's trying very hard to be Times' Square but failing. harsh but true. inside the theatre complex, there is an intricate mesh of escalators leading to a boring big box. bland. bland, and more bland. even the eye sore scotia plaza with it's tilted rubix cube has more to offer. i didn't think it was possible for that building to one up anything. it's a shame. as an aside, we went to see smart people there. it was ho hum, definitely rental material though thomas haden church was funny and ellen page, a delight to watch. i think i was expecting juno though, so maybe i had set my standards a bit high going in. still, rainy grey saturdays have their blissful moments. i love the way the afternoon meanders. hopefully the city's other projects at the ROM and AGO offer more in the way of architectural splendor. sorry for the crankola. what can i say big box bland gets to me.

life aquatic

something in the air whispered deep within. i need to exercise more. there's no excuse not to. so this week i took the plunge. literally. i went to my local ymca where i've been a member for years and jumped in-- feet first...into the pool. it was good. cool water, meditative laps, the zen of it all. the early morning is the best if you can get yourself there. much quieter and the possibility of getting a lane or two to yourself...bliss. i stick to breast stroke and take my time in the slow lane. i definitely want to make this a habit. takes me back in many ways to early years of swimming lessons. a very nice change from the work out mat, stationary bikes and treadmills.

feist-athon

congratulations to my girl feist, who cleaned up last night at the Junos.

the million dollar butcher

a few days ago, as we turned the corner to get to our crash pad...we noticed this long, long line up of happy portugese old folk outside the butcher shop. turns out the butcher won the lottery and was handing out free chicken legs to his customers. he gave his staff $5000 bonuses. whatta story.

where it's @

update on the hood. police came 'round this week asking about the chinese lady next door, asking all the neighbours when they had last seen her and if they knew anything about her. hope she is ok. assuming she is, i have to say that i'm loving the mystery that woman conjures. her bouquet of javex bottles has blown away with the winter chills. enjoyed my lunch on a sunny park bench today, the seagulls were looking for sharesies but we had to deny them. today is bright and sunny and full of hope. off to take a cat nap...

april's no fool

i love the spirit of prankster that erupts around this day. everyone nurses their inner bart simpson just a little. expect shenanigans! sort of fun to forget and then shake your head and laugh when you almost believe something so absurd for just a moment. do tell if you fell for or pulled off some great hijiinx today...don't be shy it's all in fun!

earth hour

an hour of darkness to take a stand against global warming. bring on the candles! it kind of reminds me of the summer of 2003 when we had a power outage around mid august and i took a shower by candlelight. loved the feeling it gave my apartment. i also overheard my sopranos neighbours drinking the last of their beer before it spoiled without the electricity. "you don't know the meaning of false advertising" was the quote i overheard and laughed about to myself for days afterwards. it has to be said in this mob-ster brooklyn-esque accent. anyhow, the count down begins. tell me how you spent your hour of darkness...

marching orders

where did march go? i feel like this calendar page flew past me at lightning speed. p e r s p e c t i v e is needed, zesty and ragdoll are on to something with their creative pursuits. need to savour what's important in life and stop to smell the metaphors ...not sweat the small stuff at that four letter word known as work.

absurdity witnessed+: 14 bottles of bleach on the lawn

14 bottles of bleach on the lawn, 14 bottles of bleach. you take one down, pass it around...yes, it's true. crazy chinese lady from next door had a display of 14 bottles of bleach (empty) on her tiny front lawn. she must own stock! this obsession really baffles us. cleanliness is next to godliness or so they say. she must be at the gates of heaven at this rate. happy easter!

Follow Up Post - Saturday, March 29:
the 14 bottoms are displayed in three star-like displays on her lawn. like flowers of bleach. astericks! not an accident i am sure. the oddity continues...

absurdity witnessed: bleach + salt

crazy chinese lady from next door was at it again. this time we spotted her dumping an entire bottle of bleach on a stray piece of wood on the street out front of her house. then a pyramid of salt appeared in the same spot the next day. the woman goes through bleach like it is water. anyone have any theories on the meaning behind the salt pyramids? she is a one-woman reality tv show. good friday! for more absurdity witnessed, read on.

out of dodge

on saturday dN suggested an impromptu roadtrip to waterloo, the city where we went to school and met. we visited his brother in cambridge first and then caught a flick at the place of our first official date - the princess theatre -- it is an independent rep theatre packed with artsy university students. we sat in the same seats as we did on that date, right up front so we could put our feet up on the stage. they have the best movie popcorn ever! afterwards we went to curry in a hurry...a student haunt that makes a mean butter chicken. next time, we'll have to swing by the jane bond cafe. the sun shone brightly as we laughed a howl en route. an excellent way to spend a sunny saturday. deluxe-ness!

wrong number? frenchie

four times of late, at odd hours of the day -- early and late...a man has called my cell asking for frenchie. frenchie? did my cell mistakenly end up in the personals, sounds like a call girl or some other code name ala diablo cody. too wierd! just thought i'd share, thought it might make you laugh. the call around 11:30pm was met with some harsh words on my part...definitely gave him an earful. he called back this morning and hung up when he heard my voice, then called back immediately so i let dN take it. fool! wires are crossing, that's for sure.

proof of work: book themed baby onesie

here's a snap of a silkscreen project i made for book loving friends with new babies. photo courtesy of my friend sally, and her charming model baby ben.

honest to blog

ventured south last week to visit my folks in arizona. as luck would have it, the universe presented me with my very own answer deck fortune. the last time i was in the motor home i had the deck out and was doing readings. two cards slipped under the "slide out" (code for mobile living room that appears upon the push of a button while parked) and didn't reappear until i was back in the trailer. the fortune? journey and judgement. the journey makes sense in a motor coach, and in the bigger picture of soul searching journeys and such. the judgement one makes sense too since it was paired with an image of a mountain set behind a forked road. fitting as that is a snapshot of the landscape we travelled on last week and i am trying out some new health stuff and deciding between the old and the new in many ways. oh and zest -- you'll laugh when you read this -- the vulnerable card that turned up on your question of whether or not you should take the job had a baby carriage on it. makes sense for a mat leave! i think it was telling you to take the job! the pictures do indeed add to the fortune.

also found a battered up ace for my pocket in the desert and was told by a stranger that i am a "hummingbird." will have to look that up! thankfully i didn't get stranded at the airport with all the snow storm cancellations and delays. it was lovely to get a bit of sun and a break from the sky high snow banks and ice.