stolen: irises

under the cover of darkness, a thief stole past the gate and clipped our iris blooms. strange but true. maybe they thought we wouldn't notice as our yard has a colouring outside the lines quality to it which I love but defies convention. writing its' own script. imagine they could steal our dreams too?

doppelganger

strange but true. last friday I got mail from the HR person at an agency I have had contact with but never worked with -- thanking me for accepting their offer and making start date arrangements. The mail even started with my name in the greeting. Only trouble was that it must have been my doppelganger, because until that moment I had not been aware of a job offer and had no start date plans. bizarro. It's like I saw a window into a parallel universe for just a moment. maybe it was just a mercury retrograde hiccup.

clown coming to town

strange but true. an old classmate from film school wrote me to say he'll be in Toronto for six weeks attending a clown workshop. will be great to reconnect and get the story. my mind is alive with creative possibilities. we will see what happens. he needs a place to stay if anyone is in the city and knows of leads. all are welcome.

salt + pepper cats

two cats with black and white spots have decided the front yard, beneath our umbrella tree is their new fav lounge. when dN tried to chase them away, they sent him eyes of daggers and almost risked death by on-coming traffic to continue their hate-on. maybe they are re-incarnations of former inhabitants. a pair of sweethearts from the 20s.

the shoe detective

we have a history of strange shoe escapades. remember the mile in your shoes and a mile in your boots? the caper continued on saturday. i went to acupuncture and left my snowy boots by the door beneath a bench. i usually take them into the room with me but decided to leave them this time because of the snow. afterwards, i decided to put my boots on sitting in one of the chairs instead of the bench and asked dN to pass me my boots. anyhow, didn't give it another thought. slipped on the black blundstones and off we went. then we get a call that we actually wore someone else's boots home and she wanted to meet up to do the swap. only a half size difference. what are the chances? the woman was nice, said she wouldn't have noticed either but she was wearing heavy socks and the boots were much tighter on the way out then the way in. this must have stirred the shoe fairies into trickery. next my brother in law misplaced his boots. then my fil realized that he was missing a pair too. the shoe detective found both pairs after a lengthy search in the garage, stored away. it is symbolic perhaps. we all need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes and not take the shoes on our feet for granted.

at-choo!

the crazy chinese lady next door has served up a fresh dose of bizarre. now that the weather is warmer, maybe i am just noticing it more...open windows and doors bring the indoors out. she SNEEZES frequently. LOUDLY. COMICALLY. i used to think it was just a morning thing but even around 8pm last night i heard her, and again countless times today. what gives? is she allergic to her own magic remedies, potions and schemes? it is one curious case, that is for sure.

absurdity witnessed+: 14 bottles of bleach on the lawn

14 bottles of bleach on the lawn, 14 bottles of bleach. you take one down, pass it around...yes, it's true. crazy chinese lady from next door had a display of 14 bottles of bleach (empty) on her tiny front lawn. she must own stock! this obsession really baffles us. cleanliness is next to godliness or so they say. she must be at the gates of heaven at this rate. happy easter!

Follow Up Post - Saturday, March 29:
the 14 bottoms are displayed in three star-like displays on her lawn. like flowers of bleach. astericks! not an accident i am sure. the oddity continues...

absurdity witnessed: bleach + salt

crazy chinese lady from next door was at it again. this time we spotted her dumping an entire bottle of bleach on a stray piece of wood on the street out front of her house. then a pyramid of salt appeared in the same spot the next day. the woman goes through bleach like it is water. anyone have any theories on the meaning behind the salt pyramids? she is a one-woman reality tv show. good friday! for more absurdity witnessed, read on.

wrong number? frenchie

four times of late, at odd hours of the day -- early and late...a man has called my cell asking for frenchie. frenchie? did my cell mistakenly end up in the personals, sounds like a call girl or some other code name ala diablo cody. too wierd! just thought i'd share, thought it might make you laugh. the call around 11:30pm was met with some harsh words on my part...definitely gave him an earful. he called back this morning and hung up when he heard my voice, then called back immediately so i let dN take it. fool! wires are crossing, that's for sure.

more absurdity witnessed: scattered white substance

crazy chinese lady next door is back to her old tricks. this time, there is this rank unknown white crystalized substance scattered mid lawn to mid sidewalk. a long haired black chat was seen investigating and nibbling at the stuff. it seems like a cross between detergent and moth balls, some kind of radioactive salt. possibly poisonous? is she warding off bad omens or just sick of Tide? you be the judge.

return to senda

the week before Christmas we received a small envelope addressed to mimi maxwell. with all the pre holiday mail, we opened it up thinking it was a Christmas card for us - not seeing the mimi until afterwards. anyhow it was an invitation for drinks from an old friend, maybe even flame - norma jean. hmmm...upon further investigation it wasn't like they had the wrong address, everything was correct except the name. could this have been mail sent from the past, arriving late? what era is it from? is mimi maxwell a code name for a spy, artist or vagabond? it definitely sparks the imagination. i leave you with one question:

who is mimi maxwell?

all theories, evidence, and wild guesses accepted. gladly.

strange but true

discovered in front of our house and in our bin. i kid you not. plastic bags filled with...wait for it...dog doo. today while dN was on the roof fixing gutters he spotted someone dart across our drive way. he went to check it out, that's when he peeked in the empty bin and saw "the package." a few weeks ago we noticed a pile of small tied bags left right up against our house. bags of doo. it's not even like it was close to the sidewalk, this pile was left near our house in the far corner near the drive way, right below our bay window. is it some kind of message to us or just a disposal issue? what to do, what to do...we thought of leaving a note to the crap bandits or installing a security cam but anyone rude enough to leave the bags in the first place wouldn't be swayed by a note and a security cam would be expensive and difficult to install in an omni-present way, covering all angles. if you are reading this - crap bandits - deal with your shit and quit dumping on us. literally.

the kissing bandit

she looked at her watch, (late!) and stepped into the elevator clenching her briefcase. a middle aged man in a grey suit was in the corner of the elevator already. they exchanged the briefest of nods.

as the elevator numbers crept higher and higher, he nudged closer and closer until she could no longer ignore him and enjoy the few moments of daydream enroute to a meeting.

by the 20th floor, his grey suited elbow brushed against hers. holding her breath and wishing for 26, she caught a sideways glimpse of him. quietly grinning to himself. do i know him? she thought.

at the stroke of 26, bing! she was there. the grey suited man leaned over and kissed her. on the lips. barely blinking, stunned. she escaped in disbelief. did that really happen?

the kissing bandit strikes again.

next time, she would arm herself with a strong defense. travel size garlic spray. the anti-breath mint. a deterrent for any mad kissing fool.